Soliloquay

I loved you, YES I did. 

With all the passion in my veins, with every cell of my brain, with all the tears in my eyes, with my heart in my throat .... I loved you. I fought your cold with my heat, calmed your storm with my feat, cooled your fire with my balm ..... Love you, I did. Inexorable, I waived off all logic and reason. Neurotic, I walled myself from all friends and foes. But LOVE you I did!  

Life was the journey for love - of LOVE. I walked on weathering the clouds. I walked on contending fate. My zeal needed no incitement, my strength needed no support .... I kept walking on you. Competition was a more than a mere distraction. I hurled my swords to fight the treachery. I burnt my trails to claim my possession. But I kept on my peregrination. Stopping would have made me lose you ..... stopping would have made me lose me ..... stopping would have made me lose US.

I could feel your presence on the side. I could feel your ego stoked as I made a monumnet of our love. You enabled me in this all-encompassing journey. You needed my love to thrive. You needed my struggle to nourish you through the winters. And as spring came you bloomed with the sap for others. 

How I hated Spring! As I hated autumn that had you pleased. I despised Rain as you felt freed! 

I wished eternal winter on us. I wanted to sustain you with my warmth. I wanted you to need the warmth. I wanted you to need me. 

But fool as I was, I did not see the snowstorm lurking at the distance. Fool that I was, I did not see the hatred in your eyes. Fool that I was I did not see the gaping fissure that Winter had forged! 

And now that it had blown you away, I sit with the cold embers of my ardor wondering where did I take the wrong turn. The road that was supposed to lead to YOU, has actually led me farthest away!